


Trial and Error

by Foxberry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Dates, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Dates, Holding Hands, Ice Skating, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxberry/pseuds/Foxberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jean asks Marco if he can help him work up the courage to ask Armin out, Marco agrees and suggests in an a moment of error that they two of them can trial dating together. Immediately regretting his suggestion, Marco struggles to with that the fact that not only is his best friend and crush pining for someone else but now he has to show Jean how dating works all while pining for him himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jellyfishfrost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfishfrost/gifts).



> This is for my art trade with Bell. It got a lot longer than I expected so I'll be posting it in chapters as I go!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ _He knew he would regret everything he would say next but his friend was counting on him. What else could do but make sure he’d be happy? “I guess, dates? Practice run dates. Fake dating. All that.” Marco dared to look up and catch Jean’s eye. Not even when Marco stared at him like this, despite how long they had known each other, did Jean ever notice what lay in his heart. Marco knew he shouldn’t feel disappointed, but he did. “None of that dating to make him jealous stuff, though. That’s not right.”_ ]

It has all seemed perfectly harmless, as impromptu ideas always do. Somehow the small suggestion had grown beyond anything Marco had ever expected and now it tightened around his heart like vines. How else were scatterbrained ideas suppose to go? Nothing like this, Marco suspected. No one was ever supposed to find themselves so muddled. Yet, here he was sitting across from Jean, in his apartment, at his dining table, and finding himself lost for words.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Jean exclaimed and hit the table with a fist. His excitement felt misplaced considering the question Marco had just asked. “I mean… if that’s alright with you… I’m not exactly sure how this is supposed to work…”

Marco chuckled and felt his heart flutter as it tried its darnedest to beat again. Jean couldn’t be serious, could he? The oblivious dolt had no idea what kind of effect he had on people. Especially not the one he had on his best friend.

Avoiding Jean’s eyes, Marco shrugged, trying to lift that mesmerising gaze that fell upon his shoulders. “I figure it’d be helpful at least. Show you what’s what.” His cheeks grew warm. He hoped everything in his voice sounded level while his heart played out its own rendition of a long forgotten love song. 

Jean casually scratched at his neck, stretching it up as he peered thoughtfully up at the ceiling. Everything he did seemed like he was trying his best to make Marco squirm with how attractive he managed to be, especially when he spoke. “Like _you_ know what dating’s like…” Jean joked and pulled a face, his precious lips forming into a smile that might break Marco’s resolve. “How many people have you dated?”

If only Jean had any idea how his friend felt then Marco could have saved himself that same old tortuous mindset; the same one that argued that he hadn’t dated anyone because Jean, his best friend, was right there. “You’re asking me for dating advice,” he pointed out and crossed his arms, trying to look less excited about his suggestion. “This is the best way I can show you how to --” Marco paused, letting that bitter taste of what he was about to say sit on his tongue. He gulped to swallow it down and hoped the shake didn’t remain in his tone. “-- date Armin.”

Where Marco had paused to resist saying the inevitable, Jean seemed to take it as some kind of dramatisation on Marco’s part and promptly laughed. “Yeah, I’ll get to that when I get to that.” Marco might have choked on his lunch if he hadn’t already wolfed it down in panic. “So this dating trial you’re proposing… what does that involve?” Jean’s eyebrows rose when he rubbed his fingers thoughtfully across his lips. Marco thought he might just die here and now from sheer embarrassment.

He knew he would regret everything he would say next but his friend was counting on him. What else could do but make sure he’d be happy? “I guess, dates? Practice run dates. Fake dating. All that.” Marco dared to look up and catch Jean’s eye. Not even when Marco stared at him like this, despite how long they had known each other, did Jean ever notice what lay in his heart. Marco knew he shouldn’t feel disappointed, but he did. “None of that dating to make him jealous stuff, though. That’s not right.”

Jean agreed with a nod. Everything Marco said seemed to make sense to him. None of it, however, seemed out of the ordinary. How did he not have any idea with the way Marco was staring at him, trying not to stare at him? Jean tapped his hands across the table, still blissfully unaware of how Marco felt, and so focused on how this scheme of Marco’s would get him closer to Armin. “So, what are the rules, hmmm?”

The tightness in Marco’s chest grew and it choked the moisture from his mouth, growing drier now that his casual off-handed joke of a suggestion was being taken so seriously by Jean. This wasn’t how Marco had ever wanted to take Jean on a date. “I guess we treat it like a normal date? I take you somewhere and you take me somewhere.” Reflexively, he raised his shoulders and struggled to make this look like the casual meeting between friends it was supposed to be.

Clicking his tongue, Jean squinted his eyes and added flatly, “But then it’s just like us going out places…” Jean really had absolutely no idea. He and Marco had been hanging out for years now, but going places had never been the same as a date, especially not to Marco. No wonder Jean was so clueless about everything. Marco withheld his intense desire to groan and roll his eyes, simply sighing out his nose with mild frustration.

“Kind of.” Marco nodded slowly, like he was talking to a child who hadn’t quite caught up to the conversation yet. “It’s different though… with dates, that is. Um… there’s more…” How was Marco ever supposed to talk about this without exposing himself? This was such a ridiculously bad idea. How was he going to explain that dates involved being close, holding each other, cute nervous moments, and maybe even kissing? All of the things Marco had imagined a hundred times over when the reality of the situation hadn’t pushed them out of his mind.

Jean answered for him, much to Marco’s relief, “Right, yeah, more…” An awkward shuffle took to his feet. For a moment Marco dared to think that shuffle was for him, but Jean’s eyes never met his. “So should I go first…. Or should you?” Jean pulled another face like it was yet another code he couldn’t crack. This was all something to be solved to him. “Is this more like a test of how I am or… are you going to show me how it’s done first?”

The notion that Marco had got himself in way too deep overwhelmed him. How was ever going to carry this off? At least without jealousy or selfishness biting and clawing at his chest. He was better than that, surely. “I’ll take you first,” Marco suggested and immediately screamed a series of expletives in his mind. What he was he even doing? “Shall we say Friday, or is that too early for you?” He hoped his question sounded like the tease it was meant to be, trying to hide that desperate timbre of his voice.

Jean’s grin could have stopped his heart right there if Marco let it. Instead he held himself together when Jean winked at him and agreed with his suggestion. “Friday it is.” Jean said it with such a casual tone that Marco had to wonder if Jean was amused by the prospect, where Marco felt he might suffer at his own hands.

With nothing left to say until Friday and nerves up to his chin, Marco left Jean’s apartment. He had mere days to make this work. Why had he only given himself a few days? Who could plan a date in a few days? Well that was something Marco answered immediately and sighed at the incessant panicked chatter in his head. He had plenty of time for a date that wasn’t really meant to be a date, but felt like it was as close to one that Marco might ever get.

He planned everything down to the littlest of details. From the skating rink to the very clothes he wore, Marco planned everything as if it were real. Giving in to his fantasy seemed too good to be true, but then of course, Marco reminded himself, that’s all it was. Wistful dreams and lofty hopes made little headway when they were one-sided. Fantasies long since established found themselves up against high walls and faced with the reality on the other side. Marco could still dream as long as his mind would let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this and want to share it on Tumblr, you can find the Tumblr post [here](https://foxberryblue.tumblr.com/post/148574052652/trial-and-error-chapter-1).
> 
> I would love to hear your feedback here or you can also find me on [Tumblr](https://foxberryblue.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](http://twitter.com/foxberryblue) or on my writing only blog [Foxberry Writes](http://foxberrywrites.tumblr.com/).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ _“So what have you got planned,_ date _?” Jean asked as he jogged forward, catching up to Marco and nudging him in the side. Everything he did, every joke he made was effortless and so painfully oblivious to the way he made Marco feel. It was painful, in every sense of the word. “You said you’d pick me up and you’d take me somewhere but you’ve been all secretive about it. Not even a word.”_ ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting this up really quickly before work because I need to have this out already. Enjoy~!

Jean grinned when Marco came to pick him up. His crooked smile poked at the slivers of hope in Marco’s heart, prompting it to beat just that little bit faster. Perhaps if he listened to it long enough he wouldn’t be able to hear the way his mind lamented the fact the date wasn’t real.

“You look good,” Jean said with a shrug, hands in his pockets. He never knew what to do with his hands and Marco imagined the nervous tension in the air didn’t help him either. “Or are you supposed to say that? Since you’re the one picking me up and all that.” His chuckle made him look so much more handsome in the hoodie and jeans he wore. Marco wasn’t sure where he was supposed to look. He was meant to be the one showing Jean how dates were done.

Fiddling with his own jacket, Marco gulped, trying to work down the dryness in his throat. This was exactly how he had imagined turning up on Jean’s doorstep, except he had always thought he’d have been the first out with a compliment. “Uh… thanks, thank you.” Marco tried to hide the shaking in his voice with a smile and a laugh. “You scrub up pretty well. It’s… passable.” He blinked, cringing internally at how far that was from the actual truth. Jean looked handsome in anything, or whenever Marco looked his way, really.

Closing the door behind him, Jean scoffed, “Oh yeah? Is that how you talk up your dates, Marco?” He turned around to punch Marco in the shoulder. “I thought I was looking exceptionally handsome.” The grin on his face grew at the shock on Marco’s. He enjoyed playing with Marco in his way, and as annoying as it was, Marco adored the attention. He spoke to no one else like this and Marco hoped that made him special in some way, that maybe there was some hope for him yet.

“I’m also assessing you as we go along,” Marco tried to recover from his stumble. Thankfully Jean didn’t take it as an insult like he had worried he might. What was he supposed to do now? What had he gotten himself into? He’d just have to keep playing along with this tortuous game he set up for himself. “You look presentable, date-worthy, and… handsome.” His cheeks burned hot when the words left his mouth. Marco couldn’t remember ever saying it aloud before.

They walked down the path from Jean’s apartment building in silence. Marco cringed at every step, just ahead of Jean so he couldn’t see the red likely tinting his face. Dates weren’t supposed to go like this, he knew, but what else was he supposed to do when he simply wanted to hold Jean’s face in his hands and stare into his eyes for hours.

“So what have you got planned, _date_?” Jean asked as he jogged forward, catching up to Marco and nudging him in the side. Everything he did, every joke he made was effortless and so painfully oblivious to the way he made Marco feel. It was painful, in every sense of the word. “You said you’d pick me up and you’d take me somewhere but you’ve been all secretive about it. Not even a word.”

Rolling his eyes, Marco stretched his arms out in front of him for show and nodded towards his car parked a few metres away. “It’s all part of the surprise.” He forced a laugh from his lungs. It felt croaky, lacking any of the humour he was trying to convey, but it was the best he was capable of while looking at Jean’s face and knowing they were on a date. “It only seems fitting, because it’s you,” Marco teased and jogged forward to the passenger door to open it as Jean got there.

Jean raised his eyebrows and pulled an amused pout. “I can open my own door…” He planted his hand on the car and slipped in without further complaint. Marco stood frozen in place, worried he’d probably overstepped a boundary or done too much. Jean set his mind at ease as soon as he sat down. “It’s a cute idea though.”

Closing the door and retreating back to the driver’s side, Marco took a few deep breaths to calm the beating of his heart. How could just one word out of Jean’s mouth set it off so easily? Sitting down in the driver’s seat next to Jean, Marco had no answer he could offer himself and let them both sit in silence when they took off towards their destination.

The ride there was silent. Perhaps Marco could have said a lot more but every time he tried to think of something to say, the words got lost as soon as he opened his mouth. Thankfully Jean didn’t seem to notice, too focussed on the outside world whizzing by than what Marco was doing while driving. What else was there to say? This wasn’t even a real date, just an empty shell of one, so Marco had to keep reminding himself.

Jean chuckled to himself once the skating rink came into sight. He cast a suspicious glance Marco’s way before adding a nod of approval and easing the tension in Marco’s shoulders. “Not bad, Bodt, not bad.” He hummed a familiar song that Marco couldn’t recognise. It sounded so sweet in that deep tone of his, surrounding them while they made their way inside and lined up for skate hire.

“When’s the last time you went skating?” Marco asked, finding himself curious of the answer he didn’t know. Somehow this had never come up before, but ice skating was never something they had done together. It had always seemed so much more… intimate. Perhaps that was the word, but they were here now and Marco had to know.

Jean scrunched up his nose in thought. His arms crossed over his chest, either impatient from waiting in line or considering Marco’s question, or both. “I can’t remember the last time.” His face turned to Marco with an amusing confused expression on his face. He couldn’t seem to stop his eyebrows from moving.

Marco smiled immediately. He had chosen something different, something Jean wasn’t used to. He had hoped as much. “So this will be a nice change for you then,” Marco declared and stepped forward in the line.

Within moments they were at the front of the line and renting their own sets of skates. Even with the silence, none of this felt awkward to Marco. Nothing between them had changed, as much as he was hoping things would. Jean still had his mind elsewhere, probably wondering how he could use every gesture Marco made for someone else rather than seeing they were for him.

It wasn’t until they made it to the ice that Jean spoke up again and voiced his concern, “I was always really bad at this, Marco.” He eyed the ice with suspicion and took a hesitant step out. The blade hit the ice far more slowly than he seemed to expect it. Testing his balance, Jean moved his second foot onto the ice and immediately made his way to the edge.

Marco pulled a face. “How could you possibly be bad?” His own journey onto the ice was smooth, simply another step in different shoes. He’d been doing this for years. It seemed so strange that Jean wouldn’t be at as much ease as he was here, but perhaps this would be for the better. Marco could teach him. He just had to not hope for anything out of that.

“Honestly, I was really bad,” Jean insisted, grabbing desperately at the edge like it might run away from him. It was amusing to see him so concerned like this, so ready to give up when he was often so headstrong about everything else. Those were the moments where Jean really shone for Marco, where he bared his weaknesses as crassly and bluntly as he did his strengths.

Marco didn’t believe him on this count, however. “That can’t be true.” He chuckled to himself, turning around on the ice. He gave into the idea of slightly flaunting off his skill and how easily he could move away and come back again while Jean struggled to grab onto the edge and move more than a foot.

The glare Jean shot at Marco only made him looked cuter in Marco’s eyes. The grimace on his face wasn’t far off from a grumpy cat that had found itself being bathed against its will. For a second Marco had to stifle his chuckle so he could hear Jean grump at him, “Okay, I can’t move without holding on the wall or someone else and even then I might just take them down with me.”

Jean’s hands gripped to the edge of the skating rink with each slow movement forward. Unable to hold himself back, Marco glided forwards to reach out to help Jean. He was going to need it. “I’ll show you,” he offered with a small smile, one hand on Jean’s shoulder and the other as an offer.

“Uh uh… that…” His answer paused as he took in Marco’s expression and questioned the hand before him with a forced smile. He nodded when he seemed to confirm his internal suspicions and added, “Is just asking to kick my ass.” His eyes darted to the ground below him, like he might fall through the solid and maintained ice that had held hockey players heavier than his scrawny body. Marco had to bite back his chuckle again.

Steady in his voice, Marco raised his eyebrows and gestured to his skates, marking a line with the blade. “It’s ice.” It was an obvious point to make, but Marco felt he needed to make it clear that he would be perfectly safe. The quicker that he could teach Jean how to get around the ice, the better their date could go, but of course this wasn’t a real date. Marco had almost forgotten that fact.

Jean grabbed for his hand, squeezing it tight and pulling Marco out of his thoughts. “Ice wants to kick my ass.” He stared at his feet, moving them a little before groaning lowly at his discomfort. The glare would have been amusing if Marco hadn’t been struggling to hold his friend up. Jean appeared to be entirely convinced that the passive, inanimate ice that he was standing on was out to get him.

“You’re going to be fine,” Marco insisted and began to grin. Moving forward, he ducked down to slip his arm under Jean’s and reached over his back to place a hand on Jean’s shoulder. He let his other hand fall from Jean’s grasp and the tingling warmth made his skin itch to put it straight back. As much as Marco tried to think of the original plan, he couldn’t stop thinking how nice it was like this.

Face contorted in an embarrassed grimace, Jean disagreed, “Ahhh, nope. I’m going to fall.” Jean shrugged against Marco’s hand on his shoulder. He looked so increasing uncomfortable and nervous that Marco was starting to doubt this was a good date idea at all. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Marco pushed Jean up into position reflexively. He wasn’t about to let his friend fall, not when he felt he had so much to prove. “Okay. You’re balanced now, yeah?” Sure that Jean was capable of standing on his skates without holding onto the side or leaning on him, Marco pulled his arm back to his side. Every action of closeness seemed to inflate the hope that this was as real as it felt, but Marco knew better than that. “Take my hand.” He offered his hand again, palm facing the ceiling and ready to pull Jean along the ice if it was necessary.

“Marco, this was a bad idea.” Jean’s words cut right into Marco’s chest. He had to wonder -- as painful as it was and as much as he didn’t want to -- if Jean was regretting this entire experience, with him. Perhaps it had been stupid to think that Marco could take him out on dates and show him how it’s done, hoping in the darkest part of his mind that he had a chance somehow. Perhaps it was simply ridiculous to bring Jean to the one place Marco found peace, where he could show off how good he was at something and share that with Jean. Perhaps it was one big mistake.

Ignoring the racing thoughts in his mind, Marco bit his lip and wiggled his hand in front of Jean. He turned to stand right beside his friend, chin up, shoulders back, and chest out. Glancing out of the corner of his eyes, he smirked, hiding as much of the pain as he could in ice skates. “Take my hand, okay? You trust me, right?”

Jean’s meek smile and nervous grip made Marco’s heart soar. For a second he couldn’t tell he wasn’t dreaming. The trust and the warmth of Jean’s hand in his felt right, so right that he would have pinched himself then and there if Jean hadn’t said, “Yeah…” Jean’s eyes searched in Marco’s, piercing through whatever resolve Marco had built in himself at the thought of this date. He hadn’t expected this or how hard his heart would pound.

“See… it’s not that hard,” Marco encouraged with a small tug of Jean’s hand. Marco lead the way and Jean followed shortly after, both of them moving forward one motion after another. It was difficult at first as they tried to establish a rhythm that worked without Jean stumbling and tripping over. Marco watched the way Jean held his chin stubbornly upwards with his jaw clenched and lips pressed together. All Marco could do was provide himself as an anchor for Jean to grab hold of when he lost his balanced.

“I don’t want to look down.” Every part of Jean’s body said as much. He was shaking, moving his feet in short bursts to keep up with Marco’s longer strides. No wonder he wasn’t comfortable with the idea. He was spending more time trying not to fall than actually skating or looking forward.

Marco sighed and gently nudged his friend’s arm. “Just don’t overthink it.” Tugging Jean along with him, he demonstrating the smoother, longer movements that made for easier skating. He wanted to be as supportive and encouraging as he could. After all, that was the whole purpose of this horrible but somehow enjoyable idea. As much as Marco regretted his suggestion, he wouldn’t be holding Jean’s hand if he had never put it forward at all.

“Easy for you to say,” Jean snapped back and grumbled under his breath. He followed Marco’s demonstration and soon they found themselves out into the middle of the rink. Gliding around together, they made their way across the ice, circling around the rink, hands clasped tightly. In the blissful moments that passed in that silence, Marco let himself believe the date was real.

Grinning from ear to ear, Marco found himself needing to point out the obvious, even if he was breaking their blissful silence. “You’re skating.” His eyes fell to Jean’s feet, now moving far more confidently than when he’d first hit the ice. A small shiver of triumph swept through Marco’s body and it only served to make his smile bigger.

Jean shook his head and gave a tug of Marco’s hand. “Not on my own.” Despite his rebuttal, Jean was growing more confident and making his way across the ice without the need of holding Marco’s hand anymore. Yet, he refused to let go, even as Marco tugged back with the silent suggestion that Jean manage on his own. Perhaps, Marco dared to think, Jean didn’t want to let go of his hand.

“Well this is a date, isn’t it? Holding my hand is kind of part of the deal.” Once the words are out of his mouth, he realised in a twist of guilt in his stomach that he’d almost forgotten that this was a date trial or date training or whatever this was supposed to be. For those moments he let himself believe that this date was something they both wanted. He couldn’t let himself believe he had a chance, not after Jean had been so setting on dating Armin. The best he could do for now was bite his tongue and give Jean reassuring smiles, even if Marco needed a heap of reassurance himself.

A few more laps of the rink and they were done. Conversations turned to tips on how to stay upright on the ice and the potential injuries of falling. Not once did Jean bring up the fact the date wasn’t real, even as Marco drove him home. Their date had been lovely and pleasant and most of all fake. Seeing Jean’s place as they parked by the curb reminded him of that.

Marco said his goodbyes and waved from the car. Everything in his mind told him the date should end with a kiss, but he couldn’t bring himself to get out of the car and try. Jean wasn’t interested in him and this had all been to prepare him for someone else. He smiled, swallowing back the tears forming in his eyes, and reminded himself once again that none of this was real. As much as he said this was a trial date, every part of it had felt so very real. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this and want to share it on Tumblr, you can find the Tumblr post [here](https://foxberryblue.tumblr.com/post/149455195972/trial-and-error-chapter-2).
> 
> I would love to hear your feedback here or you can also find me on [Tumblr](https://foxberryblue.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](http://twitter.com/foxberry) or on my writing only blog [Foxberry Writes](http://foxberrywrites.tumblr.com/).


End file.
